US Economy reeeeeery bad.
Maybe they sell us cats for cheap!
Showing posts with label asians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asians. Show all posts
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
IRB's Classy People of the Week: Olympic edition
In the Olympic spirit, this week’s classy people are those that are hosting the games - the Chinese. What’s classy about the Chinese? Fashion that just won’t go away is timeless. A blatant disregard for human rights. Seven foot monsters. Eating cats. Filling up American graduate programs. Let’s take a deep look at each of these:
1) Kickin it old school
Some would say that China is becoming increasingly modern - they are coming into the global economy, modernization is rampant, technology is everywhere. This is true - only in the cities. Most of China is more backwoods than a Kentucky swamp. The main modern thing about China is the fact that certain Americans (Art) wear hats that approximate ching-chong hats - that and the fact that they love to wear Nadal pants. That and they love basketball. Lots of ching-chong hip-hop.
2) Human rights
I’m not one to harp about stuff. A lot has been said about Tibet and the situation there. The Olympics bring the host country under a microscope, and this is the biggest story so far. Lots of uber-liberals (see: europe and san francisco) have protested (liberals protest? no...) the Olympic games. I don’t really know much about it, but when China hosts international fight clubs starring Van Damme, I know things are bad. Just check out the crazy dude they entered into the fight, Chong Li.
Side note: Chinese can’t clap or cheer to any discernible beat.
3) Seven foot monsters.
Tell me Yao Ming isn’t a monster. I don’t believe you. Same with Yi Jianlian. Monsters. Injured reserve? I think Yao has been scaling the Empire State Building and the Rockets can’t find him. Injured reserve is a convenient excuse for his not playing.
4) Eating cats.
That’s just gross.
5) Filling up American graduate schools
The other main story coming from Beijing is the weather situation. American cyclists showed up at Bejing’s airport looking like Billy the Kid. This is because the Chinese have such bad pollution (still kickin’ it old school) that the air is horrendously polluted and a smog fills the city. The Chinese think they can fix this. They can - because all their scientists and engineers studied in America, land of all that is good. The Chinese are excellent at filling up graduate programs in the United States, and outperforming the domestics. Maybe it’s cause we like to party. Maybe it’s because we’re sweet. But dammit, the Chinese are classy and there’s nothing we can do to stop them.
1) Kickin it old school
Some would say that China is becoming increasingly modern - they are coming into the global economy, modernization is rampant, technology is everywhere. This is true - only in the cities. Most of China is more backwoods than a Kentucky swamp. The main modern thing about China is the fact that certain Americans (Art) wear hats that approximate ching-chong hats - that and the fact that they love to wear Nadal pants. That and they love basketball. Lots of ching-chong hip-hop.
2) Human rights
I’m not one to harp about stuff. A lot has been said about Tibet and the situation there. The Olympics bring the host country under a microscope, and this is the biggest story so far. Lots of uber-liberals (see: europe and san francisco) have protested (liberals protest? no...) the Olympic games. I don’t really know much about it, but when China hosts international fight clubs starring Van Damme, I know things are bad. Just check out the crazy dude they entered into the fight, Chong Li.
Side note: Chinese can’t clap or cheer to any discernible beat.
3) Seven foot monsters.
Tell me Yao Ming isn’t a monster. I don’t believe you. Same with Yi Jianlian. Monsters. Injured reserve? I think Yao has been scaling the Empire State Building and the Rockets can’t find him. Injured reserve is a convenient excuse for his not playing.
4) Eating cats.
That’s just gross.
5) Filling up American graduate schools
The other main story coming from Beijing is the weather situation. American cyclists showed up at Bejing’s airport looking like Billy the Kid. This is because the Chinese have such bad pollution (still kickin’ it old school) that the air is horrendously polluted and a smog fills the city. The Chinese think they can fix this. They can - because all their scientists and engineers studied in America, land of all that is good. The Chinese are excellent at filling up graduate programs in the United States, and outperforming the domestics. Maybe it’s cause we like to party. Maybe it’s because we’re sweet. But dammit, the Chinese are classy and there’s nothing we can do to stop them.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Something for Chet and Insano to aim for
Someday you two may approach this gentleman's eschelon of racing to Boone's Farm.
To put it in racing terms, he's Dale Earnhardt and you're an 70 year old asian woman in her Honda Civic.
AKA You're slow at chugging.
I don't care that you chugged your Boone's faster than I did. Let's drink 40s like men, not Boone's like 15 year olds who got invited to the prom by some upperclassman. You're just getting drunk off Boone's so you'll have the courage to play just the tip with the starting quarterback.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Dance of the Week
Today is Tuesday, which means you get the pleasure of watching the dance of the week. This week we are going international and traveling to Japan to find our winner. I give this dance a score of 7.5 out of 10. Village People, watch out!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
