Thursday, June 12, 2008

IRB's Classy People of the Week: June 12th

This week's classy people of the week are a group of people that had their prime about 40 years ago but won't go away. Before you get angry and tell me that we still need people fighting for civil rights, hold your horses. I'm talking about hippies. Hippies are quite dirtyclassy, and I think I'll convince you in the next few paragraphs.

Here are some reasons hippies are classy:

1) Tie-dye

Now I enjoy a psychedelic t-shirt as much as the next person. However, hippies take the shit to a "high"er level. And we all know that nothing matches a tie-dye shirt better than a headband.

2) Not showering

Now I understand that we should conserve resources. That's why I drive 20 mph on the highway and I reuse condoms. However, personal hygiene is extraordinarily important in today's society, even if you do want to work at Ben and Jerry's.

3) Driving across the country in a psychedelic van

Nothing is better than a spiritual quest. Especially when you cram in a bus with a bunch of other people who don't shower and trip balls for 2 straight weeks, which leads me to...

4) Drugs

Hippies love to expand their thoughts, possibly trying to come up with words for new colors, or new words for colors that already exist. Typical drugs ingested include weed, acid, and mushrooms. There is a direct correlation between drug intake and grunginess.

5) Protests

By protesting, hippies have a way of annoying the rest of the world when they aren't eating vegetarian burritos. When combined with working to stop drug bans, hippies are at their happiest. If not protesting for drugs, hippies will protest war so that they can have a love-in.

6) Not shaving

Hippies love beards. She-hippies love pit hair.

At the end of the day I have to say all these things make hippies seem quite classy. It also seems Chet may be a hippie.

What do you think?

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