Thursday, July 31, 2008

In light of recent events...

There's a cougar on the University of Maryland's campus!

Why be scared of a cougar?



And

Get some nuts!

hillarious!!!

Burgundy and Yeti - suck it

memories huh?



Mets are going to win it all! (or maybe choke epically)

Monday, July 28, 2008

You are a ...




I have no idea why this site held my attention for a half hour.

You are a...

Who doesn't like a little crotch in the face?

The rest of the world better like it next month. Get your hyperdunks now!



From the Wall Street Journal today.

Nike Withdraws 'Dunk' Ads Amid Flurry of Complaints
By NICHOLAS CASEY
July 28, 2008; Page B9

Nike Inc. said it dropped a billboard advertisement in response to critics who complained that the basketball-shoe ads were insensitive to gay men and African-Americans.

The ads, designed by ad agency Wieden+Kennedy, promoted a new line of basketball shoes, called Hyperdunk, that are at the center of Nike's Olympics marketing pitch. The ad featured two unidentified male basketball players; as one flew up to the net for an apparent slam dunk, the other was left below, his face smashed into his opponent's groin.

The scene appeared on outdoor ads in Philadelphia, Atlanta and New York, and was subtitled with slogans like "That Ain't Right" and "Isn't That Cute." Its release prompted a number of blogs to lash out at the company for criticizing gays and African-Americans.

The controversy spread when the complaints were posted by media blog Gawker.

Nike didn't immediately respond to the controversy, which began earlier last week. On Friday, Nike, of Beaverton, Ore., said in a statement that it "has a long history of supporting athletes regardless of their sexual orientation" and would drop the ad, which "is based purely upon a common insight from within the game of basketball -- the athletic feat of dunking on the opposition, and is not intended to be offensive." Nike declined further comment.

Wieden+Kennedy, based in Portland, Ore., countered with its own blog post titled "Hypersensitive, y'all?" a move that prompted a number of angry responses from both sides. The company didn't return calls for comment.

Lightning Bolt of the Week: Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich Edition

This Cato Institute piece describes why the economic policies of both candidates suck.

Highlights:
Mr. Obama's fiscal plan is totally implausible. He has, according to the National Taxpayer Union (NTU), already promised to increase spending on a variety of government programs by more than $344 billion per year. He intends to pay for it by increasing taxes on the "wealthy" (the top 1 percent of taxpayers already pay 39percent of the income tax). But the revenue he seeks will not be there, because the rich are able to find many legal (and illegal) ways to avoid paying much higher tax rates. Former Federal Reserve Board member and head of the National Economic Council Lawrence Lindsey has shown how the Obama proposal "would make the private sector $5 poorer in order to make the government $1 richer."

John McCain and his advisers have developed a more responsible fiscal plan, but need to explain more clearly how and where Mr. McCain will reduce spending (in light of his proposed $69 billion spending increases — again using NTU estimates) to attain his projected balanced budget and economic growth targets. If Mr. McCain can clearly articulate and defend his plan, he will have a big advantage against Mr. Obama, whose economic agenda is grossly irresponsible and destructive.


The Cato institute leans libertarian, so the language is slanted anti-Obama. Picking through the language though we see Obama's plan = good ole' tax and spend which has been proven time and again to not work. McCain's plan appears to be "say I'm going to cut spending to balance the budget, but in actuality I'll increase spending without changing taxes so I'll further the debt."

Both plans are irresponsible pieces of crap. Why the hell can't we get a good candidate for POTUS? Since I have been 18 I've gotten GWB 2X, Al Gore, Kerry, and these jokers - wtf

This Wall Street Journal editorial describes why Obama's proposed tax plan will be disastrous.

This graph and the last two paragraphs of the editorial sum it up:


This year, thanks to the credit mess and slower growth, taxes paid by the rich may fall and the deficit will rise. (The nonstimulating tax rebates will also hurt the deficit.) Mr. Obama proposes to close this deficit by raising tax rates on the rich to their highest levels since the late 1970s. The very groups like the Congressional Budget Office and Tax Policy Center that wrongly predicted that the 2003 investment tax cuts would cost about $1 trillion in lost revenue are now saying that repealing those tax cuts would gain similar amounts. We'll wager it'd gain a lot less.

If Mr. Obama does succeed in raising tax rates on the rich, we'd also wager that the rich share of tax payments would fall. The last time tax rates were as high as the Senator wants them -- the Carter years -- the rich paid only 19% of all income taxes, half of the 40% share they pay today. Why? Because they either worked less, earned less, or they found ways to shelter income from taxes so it was never reported to the IRS as income.


Why?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Get pumped up v2.0

First the 400m final in Hotlanta:


Then the 200m final:


The fastest 200m run since is 0.30 seconds slower than Johnson.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Midget Rape



Why chase a red cloth when there's a midget to rape?

Art's Flip Out of the Week



Brand new jean jacket,
Punching and kicking of teeth,
D-bag eats pavement.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

2 weeks

In honor of the Olympics in two weeks, I'm posting this. Barcelona 1992, Derek Redmond in the 400 meters.



Plenty more Olympic pump =-ups to come.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

... But I went to high school with John McCain

Greg Oden. You'll be seeing plenty of him here in the future.




His piano playing at the ESPYs dressed up as Elton John was clutch.

Jonathan the Zombie

This is Why Radiohead kicks ass

because they continue to innovate and make badass music and videos.

Here's their latest "House of Cards" from In Rainbows


Here's some behind the scenes vidoes of the technology used to make the video

Here's what Engadget had to say

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Lightning Bolt of the Week

Somebody's late with the post of the week again, but unlike most of you bastards I actually post something.

I was in Atlantic City on Thursday, and then the Jersey shore for a wedding on Saturday. Everything went according to plan (including winning money), but then my flight was delayed on Sunday due to weather, and I missed my connection. So I had to drive home from Detroit to South Bend - got there at 4:30am Monday - sweet.

What does that have to do with my post - nothing! But here are some nerds who built a machine to play guitar hero. I like guitar hero as much as the next guy (don't knock it until you try it), but what kind of fucking uberdork do you have to be to build this machine. These people are huge losers.

Here's their toy:

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Thursday, July 17, 2008

IRB's Classy People of the Week: Walter edition

This week’s “classy people of the week” is a misnomer - Walter is this week’s classy person of the week. Why is Walter classy? Cause it’s his mothafuckin birfday, and we all know Thursday birthdays lead to classy nights out, and even classier hangovers/reduced work productivity on Friday.

For those of you who aren’t too familiar with Walter’s exploits, I’ll sum up why he’s classy in the next few paragraphs. Don’t worry, there will be pictures for you illiterate Jersey trash.

Reason 1: Canadian power trio



Walter loves him some Rush. Alex Lifeson, Neal Peart, and Geddy Lee really rev his engine. I know what you’re thinking - who doesn’t love a smack of Xanadu across the forehead? Everybody loves Rush. It’s Uncanadian not to. However, Walter’s love of Rush exceeds the occasional “It’s Rush!” text message. His love of Rush is such that he gets excited enough to call me an tell me to buy Rock Band just to play Tom Sawyer. Little does he know that ART and I are planning to start a Tom Sawyer cover band. With real instruments.

Reason 2: Publicly blowing Charlie Weis



As any good Catholic college graduate four year old Notre Dame alum does, Walter thoroughly enjoys Notre Dame Football. And to be fair, yes - I personally enjoy a nice sweater vest every now and again. However, my team didn’t lose to Navy this past year. Walter’s shameless love of all things Cheezburger Charlie leads him to continually talk up the playcaller for the Irish, all the while trashing a certain former coach. It’s OK Walter, I hear that having “real academic standards” is a fair excuse for losing to USC all the time. Oh wait...

Reason 3: India



Everyone wants to travel extensively in their life. A lot of people see travel as a bonus when it’s part of their job. Getting a raise to do so is always nice. It’s a great bargaining chip when you point out the lack of modern living as a way to get more money. Walter himself once told me “When I go I’m pretty sure I’m gonna lose 20 pounds from the heat and from shitting my brains out all day”. The classiest part is the fact that he still hasn’t had to go, after 7 months on the job. Way to finagle more money for nothing you jerk. At least whenever you go, you might get to meet her.

Reason 4: KG



No, he’s not Kevin Garnett. He’s the one, the only Kentucky Gentleman. What’s KG? Just piss poor whiskey. When Walter gets too much in him, he morphs into his alter ego, the Shaftmaster*. In attempts to win beer pong matches, Scrotes McGee is known to expose himself as a defensive move. Think the Statue of Liberty play, adapted for beer pong. And including shaft. Pretty much looks like this:



The shot was too far into the video, but search franks and beans on YouTube if you want to laugh for a while. So not only is he competitive, but he’s pretty much a serial flasher. Classy.

So In summation, Walter is classy as hell. I’d love for you all to share your stories about Walter if you have any more in the comments section. Happy Birthday you son of a bitch. Have a pint of the Gent for me. Here’s a song:



Note: I can't believe Shaftmaster.com isn't porn.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Commander Flex Plexico's Mustache of the Week: Jorts Edition

Summer is in full swing ladies and gentlemen, bring out yer jorts!!  I present, for your viewing pleasure, the Mustache of the Week:


Now, you might be asking yourself, "Flex, how can you declare a mustache of the week without actually seeing this gentleman's face??"  Well, boys and girl (maybe?? let's not kid ourselves), this fellow quite obviously has a mustache that would make your upper lips' fall off in shame, for a few simple reasons: 1) jorts are rockin' ^ max, most likely with carpenter hammer loop thingy on the other side, 2) even without a full blown mullet, his hair is still trying it's damnedest to be as creepy as possible and throw a party in the back, 3) because fuck shirts, that's why, 4) his wife easily has him outclassed by at least 4 stone, 5) his son's badass rat tail, which I will singlehandedly bring back into style, even if it kills me, 6) I'm going to assume they're in Florida, because it's common knowledge that "The Swamp" in downtown "Gator Country" is the epicenter of all jorts on the planet, as Tim Tebow currently resides there, and 7) sorry to say, but American flag on the wheelchair.  Apparently, and I'm pretty sure they have sufficient evidence for this, Canada has some interesting nicknames for the lower 48 (they even have Florida as the "Prince Everhard of the Netherlands", which I'm not going to dispute).


And finally, a big birthday shout-out to Walter:


I'm glad you're finding time to get out on the town this summer, what with your "full-time, real job."  Obviously, you brought some work with you in your little backpack.

-CFP

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Dance of the Week


Extreme videos

Dressers may come with a label now: "Warning, do not attempt to include this dresser in any acts of belly-dancing. Dresser may fall on your face."

Monday, July 14, 2008

Lightning Bolt of the Week

Know who could kill you? Anyone, even your own freaking grandma apparently.



This granny, known as "the black widow", was trying to take out a $100,000 life insurance policy on her own grandson. She has been married five times, and all of her husbands and one of her kids have died under suspicious circumstances. Evidently she's been able to avoid the law by moving around all over the country. She must be one smooth operator, but now they are re-opening the cases of a bunch of deaths of peole close to here. Read the linked story above for all the crazy details, and watch your back next time you visit grandma.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Commander Flex Plexico's Mustache of the Week Tutorial

For those of you (Burgundy) who aren't as blessed as the rest of us.


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Dance of the Week

This week we have a tie for dance of the week.


Score = 8/10 (makes me not want to eat peanut butter and jelly ever again)


Score = 8/10 (dramatic ending)

Two comments:
(1) Pretty sure that girl did not get that big by eating peanut butter and jelly
(2) When will you star in your next musical, Chet?

Monday, July 7, 2008

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

This may never be relevant again

Scientists and UPenn have engineered a new protein that will induce a protein deficiency in humans that may render AIDS harmless. You can read more about it here.

Why do I bring this up? Because in the future, this might not be funny: