Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Commander Flex Plexico's Mustache of the Week: Jorts Edition

Summer is in full swing ladies and gentlemen, bring out yer jorts!!  I present, for your viewing pleasure, the Mustache of the Week:

Now, you might be asking yourself, "Flex, how can you declare a mustache of the week without actually seeing this gentleman's face??"  Well, boys and girl (maybe?? let's not kid ourselves), this fellow quite obviously has a mustache that would make your upper lips' fall off in shame, for a few simple reasons: 1) jorts are rockin' ^ max, most likely with carpenter hammer loop thingy on the other side, 2) even without a full blown mullet, his hair is still trying it's damnedest to be as creepy as possible and throw a party in the back, 3) because fuck shirts, that's why, 4) his wife easily has him outclassed by at least 4 stone, 5) his son's badass rat tail, which I will singlehandedly bring back into style, even if it kills me, 6) I'm going to assume they're in Florida, because it's common knowledge that "The Swamp" in downtown "Gator Country" is the epicenter of all jorts on the planet, as Tim Tebow currently resides there, and 7) sorry to say, but American flag on the wheelchair.  Apparently, and I'm pretty sure they have sufficient evidence for this, Canada has some interesting nicknames for the lower 48 (they even have Florida as the "Prince Everhard of the Netherlands", which I'm not going to dispute).

And finally, a big birthday shout-out to Walter:

I'm glad you're finding time to get out on the town this summer, what with your "full-time, real job."  Obviously, you brought some work with you in your little backpack.


1 comment:

Walter Sobchak said...

I thought we agreed to not post personal pictures on the blog, please don't be jealous of my backpack either.