Thursday, August 14, 2008

IRB's Classy People of the Week: August 14th

This post could also be named: Reasons the French suck, part 3

As an athlete the goal is always to win (unless you're Larry Hughes). This being the case, a lot of times a win is necessary for the athlete and his team to succeed and reach the next level. Many times athletes step over the line of being smart and begin to make guarantees. There is nothing classier than a guaranteed win. Except a guaranteed win that doesn't work out.

Example 1: Fresh in our minds

Some stupid world-record holding Frog said "The Americans? We're going to smash them. That's what we came here for." Sounds like a guarantee to me. Except he got caught by a 31-year old anchor leg that was a full length behind with 50 meters to go. Douchebag.

Example 2: Is it even an accomplishment?

"We're going to win next week," Hart said. "There's no question in my mind. I guarantee we will win next week. I'm going to get this team ready. Guaranteed." This is a quote from Michigan's Mighty Mouse, Mike Hart prior to playing Notre Dame. The Michigan-ND game tends to be highly competitive and is a game between traditional powerhouses. This being said, Mike Hart made the guarantee when his team was 0-2, and so was Notre Dame. Way to go after the big guys, douchebag. In other news, I guarantee I'll crush an empty beer can with my bare hands.

Example 3: Guaran-Sheed

Rasheed Wallace is ugly and a jackass. That's all. Also, Detroit lost. Douchebags.

Example 4: Speaking of Detroit...

Jon Kitna - spells his name without the H cause he's too cool. Also guarantees making the playoffs, and subsequently failing. At least Jesus loves him.

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