Surprise!

SEC schools suck academically. But, they're good at football. Is there a connection?

Maybe Notre Dame can use the old academic standard excuse after all.

Wait a minute... Notre Dame is ranked number 18, and Stanford is 4?!

Didn't Stanford win last year, with a better academic ranking?

Less than half-assed college football preview

Winner of Everything - Notre Dame*

Everybody knows real football starts next week when the Giants defend on Thursday night, and the Irish kick off their season on Saturday against mighty SDSU. I'm not sure why ND isn't playing this weekend. Thanks for fucking up our schedule Kevin White.


























* Now I just wish I could convince myself this is true.

The Yeti is a twat

I have no problem with a half-assed preview. However, it just came to my attention after actually reading the Yeti's article that he spelled the name of the only two-time Heisman Trophy winner incorrectly. Since he's a Buckeye, this is unacceptable. Before he goes and spell-corrects it, I took a screen shot to prove how wrong his spelling was.

Here it is:



I'm sorry Archie Griffin, please don't hurt us.

Half-Assed College Football Preview part 2

Keeping things half-assed:

ACC
As our Chinese friends say, Clemenson

Big East
To appease Squirrels WVU

Big 10
Because Bucky Badger can't stop the run OSU

Big 12
Because some 10 year old in front of me at the Nats game last night had a Sooners shirt OU



SEC
Because their running back is named Knowshawn Georgia

Pac-10
Because of Prefontaine Oregon

Norte Dame will win 9, including the first ever Yeti/Walter/Ron Burgundy ND/Purdue Drinkfest (not to be confused with the ART/Walter/Ron Maryland/WVU drinkfest)

Michigan will win 7

Maryland will win 6 but will not close out the basement of the ACC Atlantic division

Tim Tebow will hold at least 15 prepubescent Indonesian penises during the season, maybe all at once

Beanie Wells will win the Heisman

Oklahoma will win the national championship over Florida

We all will love college football.

College Football

I am far too lazy and have way too much else to do to write up a real preview for the football season. So I took about 15 solid minutes to figure out how I think things might finish if all the games play out the way I think they will (read: want them to).

(Note: For people like Ron Burgandy, the teams are listed in order of predicted finish, the only time a conference champion is listed is when there is a split conference and a championship game. Otherwise the team at the top is the conference champion. And Yes, there are more teams in the non-BCS conferences, but don't pretend for a second that you or I care about them.)

ACC
Atlantic	Coastal
Clemson	Virginia Tech
Boston College	Georgia Tech
Wake Forest	Miami
Florida State	North Carolina
NC State	Virginia
Maryland	Duke

Champion: Clemson

Big 12
North	South
Missouri	Texas Tech
Kansas	Oklahoma
Nebraska	Texas
Colorado	Texas A&M
Kansas State	Oklahoma State
Iowa State	Baylor

Champion: Missouri

Big East

Pittsburgh

WVU

Cincinnati

South Florida

Rutgers

Uconn

Louisville

Syracuse

Big Ten

Ohio State

Wisconsin

Michigan State

Penn State

Illinois

Michigan

Purdue

Indiana

Northwestern

Minnesota

Iowa

Pac 10

USC

Arizona State

Oregon State

California

Arizona

Oregon

UCLA

Stanford

Washington

Washington State

SEC
East	West
Georgia	Auburn
Florida	LSU
South Carolina	Alabama
Tennessee	Mississippi
Vanderbilt	Arkansas
Kentucky	Mississippi State

Champion: Auburn

Sun Belt	WAC
Florida Atlantic	Fresno State

Mountain West	Notre Dame
BYU	Notre Dame

MAC
West	East
Central Michigan	Miami (OH)

Champion: Central Michigan

C-USA
West	East
Tulsa	Southern Miss

Champion: Southern Miss

And lastly since I don't believe in preseason top 25s, a look at what the top 25 could look like at the end of the year (before the bowls) if all these things play out...

Top 25

Ohio State

Missouri

USC

Auburn

Clemson

Georgia

Texas Tech

Oklahoma

Wisconsin

BYU

Florida

Texas

Pittsburgh

Kansas

Arizona State

WVU

Virginia Tech

LSU

Cincinnati

Michigan State

Penn State

Alabama

Fresno State

Wake Forest

Illinois

Heisman Finalists:
Graham Harrell -- Texas Tech
Chase Daniel -- Missouri (winner)
Chris Wells -- Ohio State
Pat White -- WVU
Knowshon Moreno --Georgia

So yeah, I am a homer and think (hope) Ohio State can knock USC off and have another shot at a mythical national title. Since these predictions will probably be wildly off the mark feel free to make as much fun as possible of the picks when Northwestern wins the Big 10 and Tim Tebow passes for 3,000 yards, rushes for 2,000 yards and performs 6 miracles to equal Archie Griffin* in the Heisman department.

Week 1 round up of games

*even spelled correct now

Oh, David

Fail

Not much to add to this, just look away during the pole vault.

College Football is upon us

I have been holding out on this little bit of wisdom until an appropriate time, and with college football kicking off tomorrow this is it.





And that is the story of how the pillow Fighting Irish came to have 96.7 million fans even though only like 13 people have actually gone to school there.

Lightning Bolt of the Week!

Late as usual - Summer's over this weekend. Bad news b/c summer is typically pretty sweet. Good news b/c football also starts this weekend. All these changes kind of have me blown away.

Just like this kid:

High Voltage Rock and Roll!!