Half-assed recap anyone? OK, half-assed recap it is.

Thursday: Arrived in Cbus. Went to the Library to watch the USC/Beavers game. Beavers for the win. Drank gin.

Friday: Yeti vomits at 9 AM. Shower, get Arby's drive through. Get on 270. Vomit in car - more specifically in Arby's bag, which is in the car. Clock reads 12:30. Double puke. Whee!



Get to south bend, hangovers abound. Watch "Leave it to the Real Beavers" in Walter's living room while waiting for him. Checked out campus. Saw two guys in gay hats hugging.

Went to eat huge burgers. Then went to some bar. There were a couple awesome people we had to document:
This guy still had the tag on his sport coat:


This guy had a tattoo that said "Made in Taiwan" on his neck:


This guy had a misshaped bald head:


Then we went home and watched Open Water 2: Adrift. Watch it, it's breathtaking!!

Saturday we went to the game. Game started at 3:30, tailgating started around 9. I had a hangover and needed to poop because of the big burger. Failure abounded. Drinking proceeded slowly for me. Walter and the Yeti drank the beers shotgun style:


We took one picture that we can frame and put by our beds so we can sleep near each other every night:


The game was OK. More like Pur-don't!!

Then we went back to the tailgate, a few more beers, some more at Walter's house and then sleep.

On the trip back, we documented a house with three (THREE!!!) cameros in front of it. Check this sweet shit out:

(God Bless The Midwest)

All in all, a great weekend. Next year we'll convene in Columbus Ohio.

Bring your green hat

Weekend Itinerary:

Thursday evening fly BWI - CMH. Get picked up from airport by Yeti. Proceed to drink at The Library. Maybe get a little drunk.

Friday: Drive from Columbus to South Bend, IN to stay with the ever-so-popular Walter Shobchak. Proceed to wear red satin jacket (cause that's what they like in South Bend) and drink copious amounts of booze. Then eat a sub and pass out.

Saturday: Tailgate with many Catholics, do my best to fit in and not make fun of Charlie Weis. Go to Purdue (apparently it's more like PurDon't) ND game at 2:30. Fall asleep from the lack of offense, then wake up to watch the final game winning field goal drive. Tailgate more after game, then drink till we can't feel feelings anymore.

Sunday: Drag ass back to Cbus to catch flight back to DC.

(Maybe) We'll post some pictures from the weekend when we're back. Not sure if we'll remember to take any (or if Walter can keep his sack out of any of them).

Surprise!

SEC schools suck academically. But, they're good at football. Is there a connection?

Maybe Notre Dame can use the old academic standard excuse after all.

Wait a minute... Notre Dame is ranked number 18, and Stanford is 4?!

Didn't Stanford win last year, with a better academic ranking?

Less than half-assed college football preview

Winner of Everything - Notre Dame*

Everybody knows real football starts next week when the Giants defend on Thursday night, and the Irish kick off their season on Saturday against mighty SDSU. I'm not sure why ND isn't playing this weekend. Thanks for fucking up our schedule Kevin White.


























* Now I just wish I could convince myself this is true.

Half-Assed College Football Preview part 2

Keeping things half-assed:

ACC
As our Chinese friends say, Clemenson

Big East
To appease Squirrels WVU

Big 10
Because Bucky Badger can't stop the run OSU

Big 12
Because some 10 year old in front of me at the Nats game last night had a Sooners shirt OU



SEC
Because their running back is named Knowshawn Georgia

Pac-10
Because of Prefontaine Oregon

Norte Dame will win 9, including the first ever Yeti/Walter/Ron Burgundy ND/Purdue Drinkfest (not to be confused with the ART/Walter/Ron Maryland/WVU drinkfest)

Michigan will win 7

Maryland will win 6 but will not close out the basement of the ACC Atlantic division

Tim Tebow will hold at least 15 prepubescent Indonesian penises during the season, maybe all at once

Beanie Wells will win the Heisman

Oklahoma will win the national championship over Florida

We all will love college football.

College Football

I am far too lazy and have way too much else to do to write up a real preview for the football season. So I took about 15 solid minutes to figure out how I think things might finish if all the games play out the way I think they will (read: want them to).

(Note: For people like Ron Burgandy, the teams are listed in order of predicted finish, the only time a conference champion is listed is when there is a split conference and a championship game. Otherwise the team at the top is the conference champion. And Yes, there are more teams in the non-BCS conferences, but don't pretend for a second that you or I care about them.)

ACC
Atlantic	Coastal
Clemson	Virginia Tech
Boston College	Georgia Tech
Wake Forest	Miami
Florida State	North Carolina
NC State	Virginia
Maryland	Duke

Champion: Clemson

Big 12
North	South
Missouri	Texas Tech
Kansas	Oklahoma
Nebraska	Texas
Colorado	Texas A&M
Kansas State	Oklahoma State
Iowa State	Baylor

Champion: Missouri

Big East

Pittsburgh

WVU

Cincinnati

South Florida

Rutgers

Uconn

Louisville

Syracuse

Big Ten

Ohio State

Wisconsin

Michigan State

Penn State

Illinois

Michigan

Purdue

Indiana

Northwestern

Minnesota

Iowa

Pac 10

USC

Arizona State

Oregon State

California

Arizona

Oregon

UCLA

Stanford

Washington

Washington State

SEC
East	West
Georgia	Auburn
Florida	LSU
South Carolina	Alabama
Tennessee	Mississippi
Vanderbilt	Arkansas
Kentucky	Mississippi State

Champion: Auburn

Sun Belt	WAC
Florida Atlantic	Fresno State

Mountain West	Notre Dame
BYU	Notre Dame

MAC
West	East
Central Michigan	Miami (OH)

Champion: Central Michigan

C-USA
West	East
Tulsa	Southern Miss

Champion: Southern Miss

And lastly since I don't believe in preseason top 25s, a look at what the top 25 could look like at the end of the year (before the bowls) if all these things play out...

Top 25

Ohio State

Missouri

USC

Auburn

Clemson

Georgia

Texas Tech

Oklahoma

Wisconsin

BYU

Florida

Texas

Pittsburgh

Kansas

Arizona State

WVU

Virginia Tech

LSU

Cincinnati

Michigan State

Penn State

Alabama

Fresno State

Wake Forest

Illinois

Heisman Finalists:
Graham Harrell -- Texas Tech
Chase Daniel -- Missouri (winner)
Chris Wells -- Ohio State
Pat White -- WVU
Knowshon Moreno --Georgia

So yeah, I am a homer and think (hope) Ohio State can knock USC off and have another shot at a mythical national title. Since these predictions will probably be wildly off the mark feel free to make as much fun as possible of the picks when Northwestern wins the Big 10 and Tim Tebow passes for 3,000 yards, rushes for 2,000 yards and performs 6 miracles to equal Archie Griffin* in the Heisman department.

Week 1 round up of games

*even spelled correct now

College Football is upon us

I have been holding out on this little bit of wisdom until an appropriate time, and with college football kicking off tomorrow this is it.





And that is the story of how the pillow Fighting Irish came to have 96.7 million fans even though only like 13 people have actually gone to school there.

Winningest program in college football history my ass

Via WFNY:



As college football approaches, we'll try to do some heavily biased previewing of the college football season.

I do think, however that we do agree on one thing: Ann Arbor is a whore.