Euro 2008 Final

Germany

vs.


Spain


Spain comes into the Euro 2008 championship game having finally shed the title of biennial first round or quarterfinal flameout and will be looking to add only their second ever major tournament title (Euro ’64).

Currently ranked 4^th in the world by FIFA, Spain features a dynamic attack headed by David Villa and Fernando Torres. Unfortunately for Spain it is looking like Villa will be out for the final with a thigh injury, forcing manager Luiz Aragones to go with a 5 man midfield with Torres as the lone striker. It is highly possible that this 5 man midfield will not slow down the Spanish at all; in fact it may make them better allowing for more time in control of the ball against a tactically sound German squad.

Germany, ranked 5th in the world by FIFA, possesses a championship pedigree and will be seeking their 7^th major tournament title (Euro ’72, ’80, ’96, World Cup ’54, ’74, ’90).

Led by Chelsea midfielder Michael Ballack, the Germans were less than dominant in the group stages finishing second in Group B behind Crotia. The tides sure turned in the quarterfinal when they disposed of tourney favorite Portugal. In the semifinal they got by undermanned Turkey, although it sure seemed to this viewer that the Turks played a far superior game, but since it is the final score that matters Germany gets a shot at the title.

Previous Results:

Germany leads the all time series 8-5-6. Spain won the last meeting in 2003 3-1 at Mallorca.

Prediction:

Based on football: Spain 2-1. Goals from Torres and Fabregas for Spain and Podolski for Germany.

Based on a quick Google image search of their fans:

Euro 2008 Preview (Part IX)

And now for the finale...


Italy



Looks like a boot, probably smells like feet.




Holy fuck your tower is going to fall over.



Wife of goalie, captain, and lucky son of a bitch Gianluigi Buffon.


Russia



The map of the country is too fucking big to fit in the picture.




When you think of Russia you think of vodka, snow, vodka, communists, snow, smoking hot tennis players, vodka and buildings that look like this. Bet you thought I would have gone for a picture of a tennis player, huh?




Miss Russia 2006, Tatiana Kotova. I love when they bring friends.


That wraps up the preview of Euro 2008. As Ron Burgundy pointed out, it is a shame that England and their far superior WAGs could not qualify for this little shindig. They should be ashamed of themselves for not sharing their wealth with the rest of us.

As far as the football goes ...

I'll take Portugal and the Czech Republic out of Group A. Germany and Croatia out of Group B.
Italy and the eyesore that is the Netherlands out of Group C. Spain and Sweden out of Group D.

To avoid further embarrassment I will pick the quarterfinals after the group stage is over. Oh, and I will get some more girly pics, cause I am quite certain that is the only thing you are reading this for.

Update: Ron Burgundy says I have to pick a winner, so I pick Spain*

*I reserve the right to amend this when Spain chokes and underachieves usual.

Euro 2008 Preview (Part VIII)

I was once told "anything in excess is funny" I hope that is true as the preview continues...

Turkey



This is Turkey



It is a nice looking country, unfortunately no nice looking women reside there.



Instead you get a picture of your next thanksgiving dinner (trust me, better looking than the Turkish women I found).


Romania



I know nothing about Romania, if you are interested I am sure Wikipedia can help.



What I wouldn't give to be there instead of a lab that is air conditioned to a balmy 62 degrees.




This is Martina Stella, she has been linked to Romanian striker Adrian Mutu (the dude who owes Chelsea 18 million because he got busted with coke). In Adrian's defense I am sure all of us would go out and get some coke if we had the chance to take if off of that ass.

Euro 2008 Preview (Part VII)

Only 6 countries to go...


Netherlands




All you will ever need to know about the Netherlands is that Amsterdam is located there.




I take that back there are two things you need to know about the Netherlands 1) Amsterdam 2) it is full of dikes. Not those kind, the kind that hold the North Sea back from causing imminent doom and despair.




This is the first football related issue tackled here in the preview, and it only shows up to serve as a warning not to watch the Dutch games if you have a HDTV. The orange in their uniforms is scientifically proven to burn holes in your retina when viewed in HD (Don't say you weren't warned).



This is Rafael van der Vaart's WAG, not bad if you ask me.


Croatia




The home of civil war. At least I think that is their motto, I could be wrong.




If you are not into killing your fellow countryman, Croatia appears to have some pleasant scenery.





Pictured is Thomas Rosicky's wife (all that orange would make you believe her husband was Dutch). Rosicky is injured and unable to play in Euro 2008, but as a consolation he gets to rehab with her.

Euro Preview 2008 (Part VI)

And the preview rolls on.


France

Ah, France, home of the best fries and toast in the world.

Also the home of, berets, toads, the pencil mustache, unshaven females, the Eiffel tower, the Tour de France and short dudes on horses.

This is not a WAG, but it is a blond chick with a painted on jersey and as I always say you can never go wrong with a girl with painted on clothes.

Greece (Defending Champions)

Motto = “Freedom or Death” I for one choose Freedom.

These guys chose death.



I have no fucking clue who this is, but I typed in Greek soccer wives in Google and this picture showed up. For a night with her I would consider choosing death.

Euro 2008 Preview (Part V) - Who's not there

Big ups to the Yeti for taking the preview under his wing. I'm sure it's not easy (unless it is).

There's one glaring omission from the Euro 2008 field of 16. That would be the English.

Here is England:




If the English made the cut, they'd most definitely win (based on WAGs). They pretty much invented the WAG. The tabloids in England go crazy over taking pictures of these gold diggers while they shop, party, or sunbathe. Which is rather convenient for anybody with internet access.

Here's a few representative WAGs from the English side.

Alex Curran. Wife of Steven Gerrard. Likes to buy things and look good.



Colleen McLoughlin. Fiancee of Wayne Rooney.



Victoria Beckham. Pretty much the original WAG. Sometimes she doesn't look coked up and can look good.



Cheryl Tweedy. Wife of Ashley Cole. My favorite. Is also in some band called Girls Aloud. Whatever.



Carly Zucker. Girlfriend of Joe Cole.



Gemma Atkinson. Former girlfriend of Alan Smith. Also former girlfriend of Cristiano Ronaldo. As Harry would say: Check out the funbags on that hosehound.



There are plenty more but these are the ones I felt like posting.

Based on all this, England wins. Big.

Euro 2008 Preview (part IV)

Let the preview continue

Sweden




The Scandinavian representative.





It is my understanding that anywhere you look in Sweden you will find hot girls. If indeed that is that case there could be all sorts of fantastic terrain in Sweden that I would never see if I were to visit.




Just another example of a Swedish female, this one just happens to date a footballer. His name is inconsequential at this point.


Czech Republic



The Czech Republic has only been around since 1993, so if you have been in a coma for 19 years it is new to you.



Hey, let's build our town around a penis looking church on a hill!!



This is Milan Baros's girlfriend and if you want to be totally e-creepy you can be her facebook friend.

The second half of the Euro 2008 Preview will show up shortly.

Euro 2008 Preview (part III)

I know what you are thinking, why is this guy posting maps when pictures of girls in skimpy clothes could take up that space? And I don't really have a good answer for that question so on with the previews.

Poland





Because it is Poland and there are no scenic places you get covers of their tabloids that call for the removal of German captain Michael Ballack's head. Imagine if the Boston newspapers had pictures Doc Rivers holding up Kobe's head? I guess this would only be equal if Los Angeles launched a major continental war that just happened to traipse through New England, so never mind.

On to the good stuff



I am pretty sure one of these girls is Miss Poland. Which one? Your guess is as good as mine. If I could read Polish I could probably tell you who is who, but she brought friends and took a picture and that is good enough for me.


Germany




Yeah, I am pretty sick of the maps too, but consider it cultural education.



The German Alps



The other German Alps