Art's Flip Out of the Week

Lion has a mouthful
Indian's taste like curry
Just like stretch armstrong

IRB's Classy People of the Week: Olympic edition

In the Olympic spirit, this week’s classy people are those that are hosting the games - the Chinese. What’s classy about the Chinese? Fashion that just won’t go away is timeless. A blatant disregard for human rights. Seven foot monsters. Eating cats. Filling up American graduate programs. Let’s take a deep look at each of these:

1) Kickin it old school



Some would say that China is becoming increasingly modern - they are coming into the global economy, modernization is rampant, technology is everywhere. This is true - only in the cities. Most of China is more backwoods than a Kentucky swamp. The main modern thing about China is the fact that certain Americans (Art) wear hats that approximate ching-chong hats - that and the fact that they love to wear Nadal pants. That and they love basketball. Lots of ching-chong hip-hop.

2) Human rights



I’m not one to harp about stuff. A lot has been said about Tibet and the situation there. The Olympics bring the host country under a microscope, and this is the biggest story so far. Lots of uber-liberals (see: europe and san francisco) have protested (liberals protest? no...) the Olympic games. I don’t really know much about it, but when China hosts international fight clubs starring Van Damme, I know things are bad. Just check out the crazy dude they entered into the fight, Chong Li.




Side note: Chinese can’t clap or cheer to any discernible beat.

3) Seven foot monsters.



Tell me Yao Ming isn’t a monster. I don’t believe you. Same with Yi Jianlian. Monsters. Injured reserve? I think Yao has been scaling the Empire State Building and the Rockets can’t find him. Injured reserve is a convenient excuse for his not playing.



4) Eating cats.



That’s just gross.

5) Filling up American graduate schools



The other main story coming from Beijing is the weather situation. American cyclists showed up at Bejing’s airport looking like Billy the Kid. This is because the Chinese have such bad pollution (still kickin’ it old school) that the air is horrendously polluted and a smog fills the city. The Chinese think they can fix this. They can - because all their scientists and engineers studied in America, land of all that is good. The Chinese are excellent at filling up graduate programs in the United States, and outperforming the domestics. Maybe it’s cause we like to party. Maybe it’s because we’re sweet. But dammit, the Chinese are classy and there’s nothing we can do to stop them.

Sweet jesus

If you haven't seen this yet, I can't believe you're reading it here.



Final round tees off at 4:30 Eastern on NBC.

Amazing.

Imagine another 5 good years of this

I had a poster growing up, and it looked like this:



The fine print says: What do you get when you cross a lion and a freight train? You get out of the way.

It's a long video, but just imagine for a few minutes that Barry Sanders didn't retire. Another 5 years of this:



A lot of kids I knew growing up loved the Cowboys. If Barry Sanders had the mid-90's Cowboys line, hed never be touched in yardage. Barry walked away. Emmitt dragged it out on the Cardinals/Dancing with the Stars. Fuck Emmitt.

Barry Sanders is the man.

And now, for something funny:

EA interviews with Blog Show on CSN

Found this one on Hot Clicks today. According to them, she'll be on Kimmel tonight.

Now, for something funny...



Note: Edited our template to get rid of the picture and youtube cutoffs on the right side.

Kittens make me sick

I've been known to vomit before, but I must say this lady is impressive. Impressive like Captain Insano's super sweet dance moves. Sorry, no video of him dancing. Yet.

Ninja Cat

Another reason why cats rock and kids totally suck.

Welcome to the Weekend

Time to drink your sorrows away!



I'm getting out work early today. Time to get out of here in 30 minutes beeee-othces!