The Yeti is a twat

I have no problem with a half-assed preview. However, it just came to my attention after actually reading the Yeti's article that he spelled the name of the only two-time Heisman Trophy winner incorrectly. Since he's a Buckeye, this is unacceptable. Before he goes and spell-corrects it, I took a screen shot to prove how wrong his spelling was.

Here it is:



I'm sorry Archie Griffin, please don't hurt us.

IRB's Classy People of the Week: August 14th

This post could also be named: Reasons the French suck, part 3

As an athlete the goal is always to win (unless you're Larry Hughes). This being the case, a lot of times a win is necessary for the athlete and his team to succeed and reach the next level. Many times athletes step over the line of being smart and begin to make guarantees. There is nothing classier than a guaranteed win. Except a guaranteed win that doesn't work out.

Example 1: Fresh in our minds



Some stupid world-record holding Frog said "The Americans? We're going to smash them. That's what we came here for." Sounds like a guarantee to me. Except he got caught by a 31-year old anchor leg that was a full length behind with 50 meters to go. Douchebag.

Example 2: Is it even an accomplishment?



"We're going to win next week," Hart said. "There's no question in my mind. I guarantee we will win next week. I'm going to get this team ready. Guaranteed." This is a quote from Michigan's Mighty Mouse, Mike Hart prior to playing Notre Dame. The Michigan-ND game tends to be highly competitive and is a game between traditional powerhouses. This being said, Mike Hart made the guarantee when his team was 0-2, and so was Notre Dame. Way to go after the big guys, douchebag. In other news, I guarantee I'll crush an empty beer can with my bare hands.

Example 3: Guaran-Sheed



Rasheed Wallace is ugly and a jackass. That's all. Also, Detroit lost. Douchebags.

Example 4: Speaking of Detroit...



Jon Kitna - spells his name without the H cause he's too cool. Also guarantees making the playoffs, and subsequently failing. At least Jesus loves him.

Seriously?

This could also be called why Jimmy Clausen will never be in the room to smell the Heisman

Nice Jacket, douchebag.

Pinkies out makes you classy, don't worry.

Lightning Bolt of the Week: Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich Edition

This Cato Institute piece describes why the economic policies of both candidates suck.

Highlights:
Mr. Obama's fiscal plan is totally implausible. He has, according to the National Taxpayer Union (NTU), already promised to increase spending on a variety of government programs by more than $344 billion per year. He intends to pay for it by increasing taxes on the "wealthy" (the top 1 percent of taxpayers already pay 39percent of the income tax). But the revenue he seeks will not be there, because the rich are able to find many legal (and illegal) ways to avoid paying much higher tax rates. Former Federal Reserve Board member and head of the National Economic Council Lawrence Lindsey has shown how the Obama proposal "would make the private sector $5 poorer in order to make the government $1 richer."

John McCain and his advisers have developed a more responsible fiscal plan, but need to explain more clearly how and where Mr. McCain will reduce spending (in light of his proposed $69 billion spending increases — again using NTU estimates) to attain his projected balanced budget and economic growth targets. If Mr. McCain can clearly articulate and defend his plan, he will have a big advantage against Mr. Obama, whose economic agenda is grossly irresponsible and destructive.

The Cato institute leans libertarian, so the language is slanted anti-Obama. Picking through the language though we see Obama's plan = good ole' tax and spend which has been proven time and again to not work. McCain's plan appears to be "say I'm going to cut spending to balance the budget, but in actuality I'll increase spending without changing taxes so I'll further the debt."

Both plans are irresponsible pieces of crap. Why the hell can't we get a good candidate for POTUS? Since I have been 18 I've gotten GWB 2X, Al Gore, Kerry, and these jokers - wtf

This Wall Street Journal editorial describes why Obama's proposed tax plan will be disastrous.

This graph and the last two paragraphs of the editorial sum it up:


This year, thanks to the credit mess and slower growth, taxes paid by the rich may fall and the deficit will rise. (The nonstimulating tax rebates will also hurt the deficit.) Mr. Obama proposes to close this deficit by raising tax rates on the rich to their highest levels since the late 1970s. The very groups like the Congressional Budget Office and Tax Policy Center that wrongly predicted that the 2003 investment tax cuts would cost about $1 trillion in lost revenue are now saying that repealing those tax cuts would gain similar amounts. We'll wager it'd gain a lot less.

If Mr. Obama does succeed in raising tax rates on the rich, we'd also wager that the rich share of tax payments would fall. The last time tax rates were as high as the Senator wants them -- the Carter years -- the rich paid only 19% of all income taxes, half of the 40% share they pay today. Why? Because they either worked less, earned less, or they found ways to shelter income from taxes so it was never reported to the IRS as income.

Why?

Art's Flip Out of the Week

Brand new jean jacket,
Punching and kicking of teeth,
D-bag eats pavement.

Dance of the Week

Short and sweet.  Word of advise:  make sure your spotters actually spot you.

Score = DNQ

Reasons the French suck, Part I

Frédéric Weis. Drafted in 1999 by the New York Knickerbockers with the 15th overall pick. Did not sign, now cowering somewhere in the Iberian Peninsula, which is hard to do when you're 7' 2". That may be his official height, but he plays as tall as a 5 foot ginger. Even has a fruity name with all those accent marks. Isn't it impossible to have 2 accents in one word? (Piss off English majors, that's my thorough understanding of our language)

Why is he the first reason France sucks?



Because of that.

The French suck.

Male gymnasts aren't just gay

They're also uncoordinated.

If you take Captain Insano into account, they're also not flexible.

Where's the Beef?

Summer time is best spent by grilling and drinking everyone knows this. It's patriotic to love grilling and drinking. Only hippies and commies don't love grilling and drinking during the summer. But all is not well in this griller's heart.

The Colorado Beef Council is leading governing and advertising group for beef in the US. Their well know slogan is "Beef. It's what's for dinner." Being from Colorado myself, I have a special fondness to these ads, and recently, things are not well. The new spokesman for the Colorado Beef Council is non-other the internationally known sissy man-boy, Matthew McConaughey. Oh yes, it's that bad. Here is one recent add. http://www.cobeef.com/CMDocs/ColoradoBC/0338YNLB%20Colo%20Tag%2030%20sec.mp3

and

http://www.cobeef.com/CMDocs/ColoradoBC/0336YNLB%20Colo%20Tag%2060%20sec.mp3

Now, not that there is anything with beef, but the spokesman should be someone who actually eats beef and doesn't star in chick flicks that his royal gingerness (Captain Insano) owns. The Colorado Beef Council should have stayed with their old spokesman. He alone could win a lifetime achievement award for mustache of the week. He is an actor who only plays cowboys or sergents in wars, not girly men trying to marry JLo (ask Cpt Insano). I am referring to no other than Sam Elliot. He is the real "Beef. It's what's for dinner." guy.

Besides who would you rather eat a manly piece of steak from?

We all know who Jersey would pick, but what about the rest of America?

Dance of the Week

A nice little half-time show to your squash match.

Judges Table:

Moves = 7/10 (in-your-face actions)

Crowd Pleaser = 8/10 (not for pleasing but for shocking)

Finishing Move = 9/10 (stone-cold killer)

Overall = 8/10

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

ART's FLIP OUT of the week

Gay PT cruiser
Purple finish makes me limp
And attracts crack heads

Still no... but you smell greaaaat

This may go along with Walter's description of ART, but I think it falls more in the Captain Insano territory. Why? Because he may or may not have invested in roofies as a member of a fraternity.



Also, Captain Insano loves house music, to pump him up when he's not listening to Moby.

"Moby doesn't sample, he creates"

In a discussion with Captain Insano yesterday, I was informed that Moby doesn't sample music, he just creates new music.

This is true. Except when he samples. Which is quite frequent. Example:

Moby "featuring" Patti Labelle. Miami Vice Soundtrack, track 2. Originally a Labelle song, sampled by Moby.

This article talks in depth about Moby's use of sampling in his albums.

So, Captain Insano, it seems you're full of shit. I reiterate Chet's statement from before: Moby is not good.

To make this post much manlier, here's more Slash to de-Mobify this blog.

ART's FLIP OUT of the week

Rage consumes the soul.
Gigantic shorts hide small legs.
Sleep chocolate friend.

You know, like numchuck skills....

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, nobody's going to go out with *me*!
Pedro: Have you asked anybody yet?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.
Pedro: What do you mean?
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like numchuk skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
Pedro: Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes... probably the best that I know of.
Pedro: Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something.
Napoleon Dynamite: That's a pretty good idea.



Girls do like guys with skills. Do you have any skills? This bear has excellent bowstaff skills. I wanted to embed this video, but I wasn't allowed, please check it out - it's worth your time (like your really worried about your time if you're here)

Any this guy has excellent douch-bag skills, but a cool T-shirt