Monday, April 28, 2008

Chet is a real son of a bitch

This past Friday, an inebriated Chet promised that he would make a post on Sunday.  As you know, he did not make a post this weekend, and by all assumptions he didn't even try.  Since he has made no posts and not introduced himself to the public, I'd like to introduce Chet to you.

Here are the things that Chet likes:

1)  Having a sketchy beard.  It is believed that Chet was born with his beard, making him the ugliest baby in the history of the world.

2)  Having cool "scruffy" hair.  Maybe this goes along with the sketchy beard, in an attempt to look like the second coming of Christ.

3)  Boone's Farm.  I realize he's not the only person to partake in a race to Boone's Farm around these parts, but he and Captain Insano have an inexplicable obsession with the Boone's Farm.  At least he doesn't drink Arbor Mist.

Lastly, Chet is the sole survivor of the Edmund Fitzgerald wreck in 1975.  This might seem surprising, but given his grizzled looks, it makes sense that he is either 1) a lumberjack, 2) a dirty old bum, or 3) a sailor.  Due to his lack of flannel, he is neither a lumberjack nor a bum. You may be confused about this story, because there were no survivors of the wreck.  This leaves only one conclusion:  
Chet is a ghost.  And we all know that ghosts can't blog.

Nice try, stupid ghost Chet.

No comments: