Each and every Thursday, I'll bring you an amazing story of some
classless classy people. To start things out, I'm going with an old standby - a favorite of mine, if you will.
Everybody loves St Paddy's Day. If you don't, you're an asshole. Even crackheads love St Paddy's Day. Alcoholics drink green beer, and potheads smoke green pot on St Paddy's, so it only makes sense that crackheads get to celebrate with green crack.
Luckily these five smart, talented, and food-coloring supplied individuals from Marietta, Ohio realized this. However, they also got arrested. Some extra details can be found here.
I don't have much more to tell you about these people, but here's what I like to think happened:
They were out on their yacht (the men wearing frilly ascots), perhaps enjoying a fine single malt scotch. It suddenly dawned on them that not everyone enjoys a fine Jameson or a delicious Guinness on St Patty's day and they decided that green crack cocaine would be a more than appropriate enterprise to take up.
Unfortunately, they got caught in a botched deal in their gated mansion, much like this one:
Thus, they were caught while trying to spread the holiday cheer. The purchasing crackhead was reported to fit this description:
God Bless the Midwest.