Thursday, May 22, 2008

IRB's Classy People of the Week: May 22

Who is classier than a creepy ass movie star? Nobody. That's why this week's classy person of the week is Kurt Russell.

Oh, you don't think he's creepy classy? Here's some evidence:

1) Nothing is classier than starting your life dressed like somebody out of the Bee Gees. Or Goodfellas. Don't get much better than that.

2a) Nothing is classier than starring in a futurpocalypse movie.

2b) And then following it up with another.

3)How about playing a pervy sea captain? He probably wants to let you swab his poop deck.

4) Or maybe wearing a Tsingtao shirt while hanging out with two dudes who look like the pervy Eurotrash from Eurotrip.

5) How about dressing up as a fireman in order to climb up into someone's bedroom unnoticed?

6) He also stars in G-rated Disney hockey movies. That's as classy as it comes. Instead of being ranked up there with Paul Newman from Slap Shot , he's side-by-side with Gordon Bombay. We all know hockey is for real men, not Disney lore.

If you haven't been convinced Kurt Russell is classy as hell, I ask you to look no further than the movie Death Proof. Not only is he super pervy, but he's a stuntman. Who stares into the camera and fucks your soul. Then kills cars full of attractive ladies, for no apparent reason.

To conclude:
Kurt Russell is creepy classy as shit. Maybe it's not really Kurt Russell, but the roles he chooses to play. But anybody who stares into the camera like that is a stone cold creep.

You stay classy, Kurt Russell.

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