Hey gang, this is your fearless leader Flex Plexico, writing to assure you of my safety. As I'm sure you're all aware, several rogue governments (Iran, North Korea, Idaho, etc.) would like to take yours truly down, quite foolish of them, I might add. Though your formation of search parties is touching, they will be unnecessary. To let you all in on a little secret, I've been doing some ultra exclusive, high-altitude, mountaintop karate training for the past month. Needless to say, being able to take out approximately 1643 unarmed 8-year olds in succession doesn't just happen, it requires serious commitment and discipline, the kind one can achieve through arduous, month-long, martial arts training sessions. To give you an idea of the rigors of my training, see below for the Dojo's commercial:
Plus, it never hurts to get extra pumped up for summer, with beach season right around the corner, and American Flag Speedos only coming in size extra-manly. And, as we all know, chicks only talk to guys with serious skills, be them bow staff, nun chuck, or the like.
Tune in tomorrow for a new mustache of the week, you will not be disappointed.
-Flex
No comments:
Post a Comment